Freeman Elementary School

 

The Lifeskills Program provides opportunities for all students (K–6th grade) to practice 16 specific “lifeskills” through a direct, systematic and positive focus. 

The goal of the program is to empower students to become positive and productive members of their school and community by improving social relationships, fostering mutual cooperation, and developing a sense of self to make healthy life choices.

Caring is a particularly rewarding lifeksill to develop because it has the benefit of creating immediate feedback that is emotionally rewarding. Reaching out to others in caring ways makes life meaningful. Still caring must be actively taught and modeled in order to become a part of a person's core behavior. Through situations and teachable moments that offer positive feedback for caring about others, a child learns that the more one gives in caring ways, the more one receives. Below are some suggested activities to foster and facilitate caring in children so that they may enjoy the benefits of being caring, compassionate people throughout their lives.

 

Caring has many benefits. Caring helps us to learn from each other. Also, it enables others to help us. Caring connects people. It gives our family (and our school) a sense of community. Look around, and you and your child will notice many opportunities to care about others. Thank you for your efforts to make "caring" a vital part of your child's life!

Common Sense is an important lifeskill.  This character trait may seem like the easiest to grasp, but it is often the most mystifying.  That’s why in our classrooms, teachers work with students to explore the qualities, uses, and importance of good, old-fashioned common sense.  Specifically, teachers and students explore the idea that certain situations may call for a specific type of behavior that wouldn’t make “sense” in a different situation.  The different behaviors appropriate at recess vs. those in the classroom are a good example of this situational common sense. 

Common sense simply means to use good judgment.  Often, common sense is simply a matter of thinking before you act—of drawing on what you already know without having to figure it out.  Common sense is a kind of “folk wisdom.”  It’s not sophisticated; it’s not profound.  Common sense tells you not to walk into the street in front of a moving car.  It tells you to close the window when it’s raining.  It tells you that if you don’t like being called names or bullied, other people don’t like it either.

The best ways to teach common sense is to figure out ways to give children practice acquiring it.  Below are suggested activities that can assist parents in creating situations where children will need to use common sense.


1.    Teach “checking.”  Checking is a common-sense practice.  People check a situation to make sure it is safe and/or comfortable or O.K.  For example: --check is the door is locked before leaving, -- check if there is a rip in the bag before putting something in it, -- check if cars are coming before crossing the street, etc.  When we get children in the habit of checking, we help them to avoid unpleasant situations.

Remember that common sense is gained over time and with practice.  We aren’t born with it.  Things that may seem obvious to an adult may be baffling to a child.  Be patient, encouraging, and continue to praise your children for their best efforts to problem-solve.

Cooperation is an extremely important lifeskill in the world of school; actually, it’s important anywhere there are people!  In the classrooms at Rheem, teachers work with students on what Cooperation looks like, sounds like, and feels like. Students practice how to share ideas, to accomplish goals, and to tolerate differences in an effort to use cooperation to enhance learning and promote healthy peer relationships.

Cooperation is working together toward a common goal. Children can learn and practice being cooperative in many ways.  Providing cooperative learning activities where children need to compromise, tolerate, and accept differences allows children the opportunity and experiences to understand and learn from other points of view.  Below are suggested activities that can assist in teaching cooperation skills at home:

 

 

Without a doubt, Cooperation is a skill that children will need for success throughout their school and work careers. It’s very simple: people need to work together and get along with one another, differences and all. Please join us in helping your children to use cooperation skills to lead happier, more productive lives.

Curiosity is a desire to learn or know about a full range of things.  Therefore, curious people are never bored!  Children who are curious are open to learning about new things – something that comes very naturally to them.  We need to foster the enthusiastic learner in all our students to help them develop into life-long learners and interesting people.  Below are activities that can assist parent in promoting the lifeskill of curiosity:

 

The article “Creating Curious Thinkers” by Scholastic, provides many more ideas to encourage Curiosity.  Although designed for teachers, this article includes many suggestions about the type of “mindset” that is needed to promote curiosity, including acceptance of the uncertain and being aware that things change.  Enjoy exploring these concepts with your children!

Effort is a lifeskill that many children have, but do not realize it.  Perhaps, that’s because they don’t use the lifeskill to its greatest affect in every situation.  Effort simply means to “try your best.”  Most children have no problem using “effort” to accomplish a preferred task, but are less likely to use this lifeskill when asked to complete a non-preferred task.  Below are suggested activities to assist parents in trying to instill the the lifeskill of effort into all situation.

 

As parents and educators, we need to recognize and acknowledge good efforts, regardless of the outcome.  It’s the process that is important, not necessarily the product.  By carefully monitoring our words and reactions in this regard, we can help our children to develop into people with “growth mindsets” – people who know that success comes from hard work and EFFORT!

The ability to be flexible in difficult and unexpected situations can make a big difference in personal and professional happiness. Flexibility means to be adaptable. This is an important quality since, as we all know, the one thing in life that is constant is CHANGE.

Students can learn about the power of flexibility by exploring options and trying new things, as well as practicing how to be open-minded and resilient. Below are suggested activities to try at home to assist us in teaching and practicing flexibility.

 

As parents and educators it’s important that we encourage children to see change or the “unexpected” not as something to be feared, but rather as a gift and an opportunity. This acceptance and understanding is the key to creativity. Often we search for the “right answer,” when a “different answer” or the “second right answer” may provide more insight, satisfaction, and joy. Indeed, many of our greatest discoveries and inventions were born from mistakes!  A wonderful book that explores the concept of flexible thinking is A Whack on the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative by Roger von Oech.  Actually, as you read this book, you may discover that we, as adults, can learn much from our children about how to be flexible and, therefore, creative. Keep your mind open to the many possibilities that flexibility will give you!

Friendship, the ability to make and keep friends, is a valuable and rewarding lifeskill. It’s difficult to imagine life without friends to share our ups and downs. Having a friend improves self-esteem, as well as the quality and enjoyment of life. In their classrooms, students have learned about how to be a good friend by recognizing the qualities of a friend and practicing communication skills that improve peer interactions. Concepts such as “fairness” and “forgiveness” have also been discussed in an effort to help students recognize that making and keeping friends takes effort and care.

Here are 10 Ways Parents can help their children to get along with others in an effort develop and maintain lasting friendships:

1) Teach your child to use kind words and show respect through kind actions. Remind your child that eople enjoy the companionship of people who make others feel good.

2) Instill respect in your child for other people, their property, and for the laws that govern us. Help your child to appreciate differences in others and to practice acceptance.

3) Remind your child that even best friends disagree. That’s OK, as long as they can be honest with each other and talk things out.

4) Demonstrate how to cool down when angry. For instance, take deep breaths or count to 10.

5) Encourage your child to practice good manners, like saying “Thank you” and “Excuse Me.” Help them to understand the power of telling someone that they are “sorry” when a mistake has been made. And, allow them to practice forgiveness by accepting another’s apology.

6) Be available any time your child wants to talk over problems concerning relationships with others. Discuss what good friends do so that children become aware that certain actions and behaviors represent friendship.

7) Explain that if two people can’t work something out, they should ask a third person to mediate. At school, that often means asking an adult for help.

8) Role-play situations so your child learns how to solve problems that may come up with others. Help them “practice” what would be helpful to say to a friend about a conflict.

9) Create opportunities for caring, such as letting your child help bake cookies to welcome newcomers to your neighborhood, or by writing or making phone calls of thanks. 

10) Tell your child to report any bullying or harassment that he or she witnesses at school.  

Most important, remember that children learn most by the example of the adults in their lives. We all need to model friendly and generous behavior as much as possible.

By helping children to understand the importance of friendship, parents and educators have the opportunity to help prepare children for a happier and healthier future. Really, what better gift can we give our children, but the ability to enjoy deep and lasting friendships?

Another lifeskill focus at Rheem is Initiative. In classrooms, teachers work with students on what initiative is and how to use it to make a difference in our own and others’ lives. Specifically, students practice how to help others, be assertive, and have concern for self and others.

Initiative can be a challenging lifeskill for children, especially in this day of passive TV viewing and instant gratification through a variety of easily accessible means. Initiative by nature involves action; it requires taking the extra step—or even the first step—to accomplish something that needs to be done.  For this reason, the lifeskill of initiative requires motivation to see a problem and to do the right thing to solve it, not because someone has asked or because it is expected, but simply because the action needs to be taken and it’s the right thing to do!

Initiative starts with a good idea, but that the idea is not enough. You must take action to make things happen. Initiative is grounded in first steps and follow-through. We can help establish this lifeskill in our children by recognizing their efforts to identify problems and by supporting their ideas to do something about them. Below are some suggested activities to assist you in teaching your child about Initiative and Motivation. 

 

One of the most exciting aspects of initiative is the potential for it to banish the “B” word from one’s vocabulary. That’s right, the dreaded “B” word—boring. If a person has truly integrated the lifeskill of Initiative into daily life, he/she would never experience boredom again! There is always something that needs to be done. There is always something one can find to do! When children say “I’m bored,” they are expressing that they are unmotivated to help themselves or others.  Rather than sympathize with this comment (thereby dignifying it), help your child to identify the activities that are available. Plan ahead for “boredom” by making a “What to Do When There’s Nothing to Do” list. Children (and parents) can refer to this list when necessary.

 

Initiative is a lifeskill that separates successful people from those who do not meet their goals. At Rheem, we hope to help students to get involved, to do the right thing, and to enjoy the intrinsic rewards of a job well done! By developing initiative, we can make process towards this important goal. Thank you for your support of this effort.

Having integrity means to be honest, sincere, and to conduct oneself according to what is right and what is wrong. When students can recognize integrity in themselves and others, they are able to develop a feeling of security and self-assurance. By participating in activities that focus on individual strengths, tolerance, and trust-building, students can appreciate the power of conducting themselves with integrity.

Before children can have integrity they need to be taught the importance of being honest. Honest people are trusted by others. Also, an honest person cares about what’s right and wrong. Rights and wrongs need to be modeled, discussed, and explained. Below are suggested activities that can assist parents in teaching integrity to their children:

Read the definitions of integrity in bold type below and discuss these ideals as a family. Ask brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles what they think integrity means. You might ask each person “In your opinion, who in our family (neighborhood, town, etc.) has integrity? Why do you think this is true?” Students will see that integrity is an admirable characteristic. (Note: the point of this activity is not to judge, but to get started thinking and talking about integrity)
 

 

Integrity is one of those words that can be hard to define. If you look it up in a dictionary, you’re likely to find definitions like these: “Steadfast adherence to a strict code of values; the quality or state of being whole, entire, undiminished; completeness.”  However, when you think about it, there is probably a simpler definition: Being yourself.  All day, every day, regardless of who’s around. When you have integrity you’re honest with yourself and others. You match what you do to what you believe. You have confidence in yourself because you know yourself. Other people have confidence in you because they can depend on you to be consistent and constant.

 

Integrity means doing the right thing, even when no one is looking.

 

 

When our children develop integrity, they can approach each new situation calmly because they don’t have to struggle inside to decide how to act. Their integrity protects them from making poor choices. Integrity is the cornerstone of building good character.

Organization is an important lifeskill. At Rheem, teachers work with students on what organization is and how to be organized. Students review classroom procedures and routines, maintaining orderly spaces, and learn how setting goals and planning strategies to meet goals are all ways to be organized.

Organization is a lifeskill that helps children and adults alike to be better prepared, confident, and more successful. Though to some, organization may seem “natural,” to others being organized is a struggle, Organization is a skill that can be learned through be modeling, and practice. Children need to see the benefits of organization before it becomes a valuable skill. As a parent, you can help. Below are suggested activities that can assist you in this endeavor: 

 

Remember, organization takes time, time, and more time. Sometimes, it’s by slowing down that we manage to get the most things done! Help your child to see the benefits in taking the time to be organized. This is a lifeskill they will never outgrow!

Patience is an important lifeskill. Patient people have self-control and possess the ability to listen carefully to instructions. Understanding the important of “taking turns” as well as how to best utilize wait-time are also important qualities that promote patience.

Patience is a life skill that requires practice. Children who learn to wait for what they want, rather than expect immediate gratification, develop an appreciation for what they achieve and possess. Like any other skill, children need practice to develop the skill of waiting as well as directions on what to do while waiting. Below are a few suggested activities that can assist children in developing the lifeskill of patience:

 

It's difficult to expect people (especially children) to wait patiently in this fast-paced world. So often, we expect (and even get) immediate gratification through our high-speed technological advances. Still, by helping our children to understand that not all things can happen at our whim, we can do much to improve opportunities for pleasant experiences. The essential worth of skills and possessions are more concretely realized when they have been earned. Yes, patience is a virtue, but in that it can help us calm down and appreciate the little things that happen along the way, patience can also be a gift. Make the most of it!

Perseverance means to keep working until the goal is met in spite of difficulties.  When a person has perseverance they don’t give up!  Perseverance is the difference between those people who try and those who succeed.  Below are suggested activities that can assist parents in teaching perseverance to their children. 

 

The article “How to Teach Kids Perseverance and Goal Setting” from Parents Magazine offers several strategies to instill this important lifeskill in children, as well as what to do when kids fall short of their goals.  This article also includes a great “template” for goal-setting.

 

To help our children develop perseverance, we need to support them as they are working and when they encounter challenges, but we have to be careful not to “rescue” them!  Remember, we want our children to grow into independent, confident adults.  Praising their efforts, their flexibility and their resilience are important factors to help them develop perseverance.

Effective problem solving strategies are important when seeking solutions to everyday problems as well as to more difficult dilemmas.  Although most of us would love to shield children from life’s inevitable disappointments and to solve all their problems for them, a child’s path to independence and confidence is paved with the ability to deal effectively with problems. To be an effective problem-solver, it is helpful to brainstorm solutions, practice assertiveness, improve communication skills, and make decisions about when and how to ask for or offer help. Parents can support these skills in many ways.  A few suggestions follow:

 

Thank you for your efforts to promote positive problem-solving capabilities in your children. The positive effects will last a lifetime!

Respect means to have consideration for others. To be able to respect others and the limits they set, one must first develop a respect for oneself. In teaching children respect, parents have the responsibility to model an understanding and respect of others. It is primarily through this modeling that children learn that respect is reciprocal. Below are suggested activities that can assist in developing and supporting respectful individuals:

In the classrooms, Rheem students learn what Respect looks like, sounds like, and feels like. We practice many different strategies to help us be respectful, such as the I-Messages described above as well as using "De-Bugging" strategies (see below). We hope that you can benefit by utilizing these skills in your own homes so that the lessons learned at school can be further extended into the "real world."

Responsibility means to be accountable for your actions.  Children should be encouraged to move beyond thinking only about themselves and to see the greater good that engaging in responsible behavior can bring.  Taking responsibility for one’s actions means thinking about the outcomes and impact on others (as well as oneself) before saying or doing things.  Practice in developing alternative reactions, taking ownership of actions, considering time management, and accepting consequences will help students develop into responsible people. Of course, children need lots of positive reinforcements from parents and other caring adults.  Below are suggested activities that can assist parents in modeling, supporting, and fostering responsible individuals. 

 

A well-developed sense of responsibility can make all the difference in establishing a successful professional and personal life. Share with your children the many ways you are responsible both at work and at home. Responsibility often means doing things that might not be “fun” but are important and necessary. The rewards for being responsible may come a little later, but the rewards definitely are worth it!

Sense of Humor is the ability to laugh and be playful. It requires people to not take life too seriously, to have a creative view of our imperfect world, and to have the ability to laugh at oneself. Unfortunately, children can loose the skill of humor when they feel unloved and/or when their lives lack models of how to flavor life with a sense of humor. To be able to see the humor in life requires an appreciation of its spontaneity and its imperfections. Below are suggested activities that can assist parents in trying to share humor with their children. 

 

Having a good, healthy sense of humor is a Lifeskill that can help us through stressful times. By finding the humor in everyday situations and be sharing this skill with our children, we can dramatically increase their potential for success and happiness.

IF SOMEONE IS BUGGING YOU...DE-BUG!

As much as we all try to do our best all the time, there are still those occasions when other people "bug" us.  As part of the Lifeskills training at Rheem, all students are taught "de-bugging" strategies to use when someone is annoying them.  You can support this effort by reminding your child to use one, some, or all of these "de-bugging" suggestions when those inevitable conflicts arise outside of school.

How to De-Bug:

 

Not all of these strategies may work in all situations. Also, there is not an exact order that you need to use. Let your common sense dictate the most appropriate series of strategies to use.